My Beloved
by Rickashay
Summary: He was her beloved, but it could not last.  Izayoi POV Warning s  Character Death, Mention of Intercourse, T


_**Week #267 - Long Ago, "My Beloved"**_  
>Title: My Beloved<br>Authoress: Rickashay  
>Genre: RomanceTragedy  
>Word Count: 3,414<br>Rating: T  
>Warning(s) brief mention of intercourse, (non-graphic) Character death<br>Character(s): Izayoi (sixteen), Inu no Taisho, quick mention of Inuyasha and Sesshomaru  
>Summary: He was her beloved, but it could not last. (Izayoi POV)<p>

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><p>They met on a day that the trees were brown and shedding their leaves, twirling in a downward spiral. The sky was overcome with dark clouds as lightening crackled in the distance.<p>

She saw him staring down at her with curious, golden eyes.

_Youkai…_The whispered thought brought shudders of fear.

Wisps of silver hair floating in the air, he crouched down and with a leap, stood before her. He was taller than her by more than a foot, much more broad shouldered than any man she had ever seen, and was the most captivating creature she would ever meet.

"Human," he said in a clear voice, a touch of wonder decorating the deep rumbling noise.

"My lord." She bowed, after all, everyone knew whom the Inu no Taisho was.

For some reason, he smiled, his wise eyes twinkling merrily.

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><p>The silence was entrancing. There were noises here and there but the steady breathing of the body beside her dimmed all the sounds. It was mesmerizing, addicting hearing the fall and rise of his chest as he breathed. Some had called him charming, but seeing him in this light…<p>

He was perfect.

There was a peaceful expression on his face and his lips twitched every now and then. For a youkai, he was nothing like she expected. Handsome, charming, and some would even call him chivalrous. He was nothing like those raging beasts that people spoke of, the animals that hunted in the night and preyed on the wandering souls.

Instead, he was very peaceful.

He was beautiful…

Sighing softly, a despondent expression overtook her features. There was no doubt in her mind that it could last forever. There were circumstances that would not change this and despite the love she held for him, there was no way she could betray her family.

An arm was suddenly thrown over her, his steady breathing changing pitch as he nudged her cheek gently with his nose.

"Izayoi…" the soft, admonishing tones were enough. "Stop thinking, everything will be all right." His voice lowered to a whisper. "Go to sleep." The arm tightened, and a small kiss was placed where his nose was.

She snuggled deeper into those arms, wide-awake.

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><p>Family had been everything to her. There was no doubt that her loyalty first belonged to her family. But there was this sense of loyalty to her Inu no Taisho, something that shouldn't be there. It was an odd feeling. She had never before felt any sort of obligation towards anyone outside of her family.<p>

"Fair hime, please do me the honor of accepting my hand." The bowed figure did not raise his face, but he did not need to. She had seen him before, a rather unique looking person with whiskers that overtook his face and dark hair pulled into a topknot. The man was handsome enough, especially clad in his armor.

"Thank you, sir, but I dare not accept your generous offer. I am still not to be wed until a few years yet." She lied, hands nervously clasping against each other.

"Of course, my lady." The young soldier stood, rising to look steadily into her eyes. Greed flashed and she couldn't help but shudder.

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><p>It was not until a few months later that she had noticed a difference in the Inu no Taisho's attitude when dealing with her. Although he was always kind and gentle with her, there were moments when he would just stare out of space, not noticing her questioning glances or refusing to answer them. The blank, almost chilling expression he would wear always brought a deep concern in her heart.<p>

She knew of his son and wife. They lived far away, coming down from their hiding place in the sky only every few years. They were secluded from the world, and yet she had noticed that Inu no Taisho would spend more time with them than before. It took a bit of convincing from her to put away the jealousy and remember that he did not have obligations towards her.

"What bothers you, my love?" he asked one day, an intense stare fastened on her.

For some inexplicable reason, she found herself blushing to the roots of her hair. She had never blushed so hotly before in his presence. Returning the gaze with one of her own earnest ones, she replied. "There is nothing that concerns me, my lord."

A doubtful eyebrow rose, but a smile curved on his lips. "Of course, my dearest."

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><p>It had been that morning when she had been awoken by the odd noise of shuffling feet, a heavy sigh, and then the sound of retreating footsteps. Quickly pushing herself to her feet, she hurried toward the screen doors. She followed her suspicions outside until her bare feet met the moist ground. She watched in an eerie fascination as a large dog with glowing red eyes disappeared in the clouds.<p>

She did not speak about the incident again, despite her severe disappointment that he had left her without saying goodbye.

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><p>It was the first time in many months that she had been summoned to her parents to discuss marital prospects. When she had left the meeting, she was not pleased. Takemaru was a pigheaded monster that she had no intention of staying with, despite the two-year advance she had.<p>

As she hurried to her rooms, fists clenched together and anger simmering over, she was hardly aware of the angry tears that poured from her eyes. That is, she did not notice until she had closed the door to her own private rooms and was accosted by a large body pressing against her and wiping away the tears with dangerous clawed hands.

"What is wrong, darling?" his deep voice rattled with anger, and for a moment she was frightened herself.

"There is nothing wrong." She whispered against him.

The two arms wrapped around her tightened and she felt him nudge her gently.

"You can trust me, Izayoi, dearest." A small kiss was pressed to her brow. When he backed away, his aura dissipating along with his anger, she visibly relaxed.

"Of course, my lord."

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><p>The months that followed were quick as her parents withered and died. She mourned for their passing as a dutiful daughter would, but there was no choice but to remember that there would be no way to escape Takemaru now, only by death.<p>

The days that had passed were constant torment and the Inu no Taisho became increasingly worried, lines tightening around his eyes and mouth. And yet, he would always find time to say a sweet word or bring some measure of comfort. It was always a blessing to have him there.

She said nothing about her intended until it was too late.

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><p>It was near more than a year after the passing of her relatives that her relationship with the Inu no Taisho became steadily stronger. She had thought that their passion would sizzle down until they could both part ways mutually. Instead, it seemed to only increase. They no longer confined themselves to her chambers but took walks through the gardens and discussed various things. She found herself admiring him more and more, not as a perfect being or even a beautiful face, but for the wisdom that shone in his eyes or the way his eyes would crinkle lightly when speaking of his son. She did not realize that she had begun to love him.<p>

"Izayoi," the hand that lay upon her hip paused lightly, rubbing circles.

With a great effort, she turned around to face the concerned expression on her Dearest's face. "Yes, love?"

A serious glint entered his eyes, his mouth turning into a frown. "I have some problems to attend to in these months." The hand stilled completely. "I have asked Sesshomaru to watch over you while I am gone."

She nearly sighed in relief. Smiling gently, she whispered. "I would love to have your son nearby, it brings relief to me that I won't be alone." Another hand clutched hers, even though there was a sort of strange amusement that lurked in his eyes.

"I am sure that Sesshomaru looks forward to this meeting as well." The amusement turned into a smirk.

It was this reason that she took it as a warning.

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><p>Sesshomaru was very much like his father and yet completely different. Their presence was the same, strong and powerful and yet she could feel the furious protectiveness that they both projected. He had taken to following behind her, eyes narrowed and carefully scanning the area at all times. He was rather adorable with his paranoia; even his father wasn't this obsessed.<p>

"Sesshomaru, come sit with me!" she called out, twiddling idly with a flower in her hand.

The steady sound of thumping boots greeted her ears. She was hardly surprised that he had taken the seat across from her. His golden eyes fastened upon her with an odd look of intensity, not even the Inu no Taisho's gaze was that unnerving.

"Yes, Hime?"

She tilted her head, smiling gently. "Would you care to walk with me?"

Although the confusion on his face was amusing, it was even more amusing that he had quickly stepped in line with her, not saying a word.

_I will get you to speak before our time is up._

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><p>There was a beginning of the Inu no Taisho's return when she had noticed the suitable shift in Sesshomaru. Although his eyes were still guarded, he no longer looked at her with open suspicion and hostility. It was rather humorous to see that he had stopped walking behind her and instead listened to her babbling about the different type of flowers and the other meaningless things she had spent her time on.<p>

He always seemed more than a little amused when she would speak of things. It wasn't until he had said; "My mother would enjoy conversing with you," that his words finally brought her up short.

How could she have forgotten the infamous Lady of the West?

They remained in silence after that, one awkwardly silent while the other was pale and shaking.

_Some problems, honestly!_

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><p>The Inu no Taisho had returned, bringing bright smiles and twinkling eyes as he stayed with her. He seemed much more at ease than previous times.<p>

It was odd though that not more than a month later, with the Inu no Taisho still being there, she unfortunately had been laden in bed with a rather nasty sickness that had made her dizzy.

However, the sudden withdrawal of the Inu no Taisho was more disconcerting.

She would have preferred him to stay a bit longer, even if she was ill.

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><p>The sickness had persisted for many days and she couldn't help but be weary of laying on her futon and being bored throughout the days. Her servants were not proper conversationalists and her Dearest was nowhere to be found. Oddly enough, Sesshomaru had come for a visit. He had just sat in a corner and stared at her with an unreadable expression on his face.<p>

It wasn't until nearly two weeks later that she felt well enough to go on with her day, although there were occasional moments where she felt like she was still too nauseous too move, mainly when an unsavory smell wafted towards her.

It had been on this day that she had found out her mysterious illness. Her monthly time had not come and she had suspected more than she let on. It was confirmed when she heard one of her older servants discussing the "problem" with a younger one.

"Honestly, whose do you think it is?" the girl giggled.

"Now, now, there is no other explanation for it being anyone else's but Lord Takemaru." The woman leaned forward, her face covered by a screen door.

Izayoi could feel her face heat up, her throat closing up until she breathed in short, wheezing breaths. What were they talking about?

"It will be wonderful to have a baby in the house once again, it feels like it's been such a long time. Sixteen years, in fact! I bet it will be just a darling child, what with the Hime's prettiness and Lord Takemaru's distinguished face."

"It will be the sweetest babe in the entire village." The younger girl proclaimed, before breaking off into giggles. "Does she know?"

"Doubtful."

The palms of Izayoi's hands were sweating, her mouth dry so that she couldn't speak. Her body shook with tremors, and she could hardly stand. Sinking to the ground and her hand covering her mouth, something in her shattered.

_He had not returned…he must have known. _The thought was horrid…

A clawed hand gripped her wrist, dragging her through an empty door. Sesshomaru's golden eyes peered down at her, two small wrinkles forming between his brows. His mouth turned into a thin, disapproving line.

"You should not stand them gossiping about you." The deep voice rumbled in the room but the slide-in door shut on his back. Silence reined. She could not even get the energy to cry anymore.

It was not until a day later that the two women were sent away by Sesshomaru; no one else said a word about a youkai being in the castle. Not one word…

Not even to Takemaru.

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><p>She could feel his presence coming nearer though, the first time in many weeks. Now that she knew what was causing her illness, his presence did nothing to calm her. Instead a burning rage overcame her and it seemed obvious that this would be their goodbye. It wasn't as tragic as she first thought, but she would miss him.<p>

"Izayoi…" her name was spoken so softly but it was the same, cool tones that belonged to Sesshomaru. She could feel his presence as well, ready to take flight and leave in his father's place to the Castle in the Sky. For a moment, neither of them spoke, just watched as the white dog descended slowly to the ground. Energy crackled in the air as he transformed to his smaller form.

It was only for a split second that Sesshomaru was standing beside her and was then racing in the sky, a deep roar thundering overhead.

As she watched him leave, his true form so much smaller than his father's, she wondered why there was such a difference.

"Dearest," the word purred from the Inu no Taisho's throat.

She tilted her head sideways, staring down at him coldly. Not flinching but feeling the stinging in her nose and eyes. For a second, their eyes met easily.

And then suddenly…

He smiled.

It wasn't even a sweet apologetic smile either. It was a large, infectious smile that spread from ear-to-ear. It was rather baffling.

"Hello, darling." He reached for her face, spreading his large hand across her cheek, cradling it gently, the clawed tips prickling at her skin.

Her frown deepened into a scowl.

She still let him kiss her though, even if she was furious.

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><p>It was surprising that as she grew rounder and rounder, the Inu no Taisho's visits became longer and longer until he rarely visited the Castle in the Sky at all. It was rather relaxing not having to worry about the servants anymore and whether they would keep her secrets. It seemed that the combined presences of the youkai silenced them efficiently.<p>

Although Sesshomaru rarely visited, the times when he was around, he seemed to have little to say and concentrated on looking anywhere but her growing belly. It seemed like it both disgusted him and fascinated him.

Takemaru still had not noticed and none of the servants had told, but there was still this heart-pounding thought: She had dishonored her betrothed and Takemaru was known for being a rather reckless and bloody man.

As she grew rounder and rounder, it became harder and harder to hide her pregnancy in the village or when she had met with Takemaru. Soon, there would be no choice but to let the rumors run their course.

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><p>"There are rumors in the south of a dragon called, Ryuukotsusei." Izayoi turned to stare into his eyes. Inu no Taisho did not turn, did not show any change of expression but a slight creasing near his mouth. She knew of the dragon well; Sesshomaru had spoken many times of the disgusting behavior of the dragon and the vileness that he spread. He was a wicked type of youkai, one that enjoyed slaughtering villages and gorging on their bones. "He is moving more towards the west."<p>

For a second, tension seeped into his muscles. Turning towards her, he gave a thin smile. "Do not worry so, darling," he whispered, pressing his lips to her forehead.

Even though the Inu no Taisho was powerful and strong, worry for him still crept in her mind, always nagging in the back of her head.

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><p>Izayoi was beginning to become tired of carrying around the extra weight and just wanted it over with. Although it was irritating, the Inu no Taisho had taken to bringing things over that had been Sesshomaru's when he was a baby, many old toys and even more clothes. He spent many quiet hours, sometimes just staring in space, smiling absently.<p>

"Darling," he said one day, sitting in the garden and staring at her with a concerned expression, "are you sure this is what you want?"

A cold ice settled over her. "What do you mean?" Her voice turned frigid.

A small smile settled on his mouth, but the concern in his eyes deepened. "Whether this is what you wanted."

Their eyes met just briefly, and she could feel the softness settle over them. "Yes," she breathed dazedly.

"Good."

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><p>The Inu no Taisho was becoming increasingly affectionate. Although it wasn't unwelcome, the change was rather spontaneous. Soon he did not care that she would rest her head in the crook between his head and shoulders or that she would cling to his hand. It was all rather sweet.<p>

"Beloved."

It still made her smile.

"Beloved," she agreed, squeezing his fingers in her hand.

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><p>She was in labor and it was the most horrid thing she had ever felt. It was as if she was being split in half. While she wailed and cried out, she reached for the figure that wasn't there.<p>

"Damn you!"

Some would have thought that it was directed at the father of the child, but no, it was directed at Ryuukotsusei, who had taken her Inu no Taisho from her.

She wailed but felt Sesshomaru's hand squeezing hers, his eyes horrified.

With one final push, a shattering wail rose up. Different, though, from her own painful one. It was the most glorious noise in the world. A piercing wail of a child just woken, just born. She would always remember that sound as long as she lived.

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><p>Inu no Taisho only saw his child one moment, dubbing him "Inuyasha," before turning to his death.<p>

"Inuyasha," she whispered, the red fire rat shirt still pulled over her head. Tears rolled swiftly down her cheeks.

As she stood gazing at the fire, her fingers still petting the baby's ears, roars of other Inuyoukai shook the sky.

"Beloved," she whispered, in farewell.

The smell of the fire stayed with her through the years, plaguing her dreams and nightmares.

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><p>It seemed so long ago since she had last seen him.<p>

It was only five years since her Dearest had died and Izayoi could still imagine his expressions and the light in his eyes. Sometimes she would feel his spirit visiting her in dreams, a small, fluttering kiss on her cheek or the sound of a steady breath.

"Beloved," she'd whisper in the night, feeling her son cuddling near her in the small hut they lived in.

Although she was a noble and still was considered a noble despite her lack of castle, she knew that the blood still flowed in her veins. It still showed through…

It was the least she could do for her Beloved.

She must keep her dignity, no matter the wicked things they said.

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><p>It was in that year that she had passed away, leaving a young child to race through the woods as youkai chased him, tears streaming down his cheeks, and just wishing that someone would save him.<p>

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><p>AN Thank you so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed this story!


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